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Before her Saturday January 3rd sudden demise hours before the marriage of her second daughter, Mopelola, Iyalode Adunni Bankole one of Nigeria’s prominent high society women who contributed immensely to the development of the Nigerian entertainment and social circle in the last 25 years told Asabeafrika some deep seated events that characterized her 30 years union with her Egba, Ogun State born husband, Chief Alani Suara Bankole. The influential Egba born philanthropist of repute and woman of enterprise was the 4th and youngest wife of Chief Bankole, an equally famous industrialist of Egba stock. For 30 solid years this very beautiful woman with Owu blood running in her vein was married to the Egba chief as his fourth and youngest wife.
The union produced 4 lovely children who are well educated with some still studying abroad. The late Chief Mrs. Adunni Bankole had several titles to her credit which includes the Iyalode of Gbagura land in Abeoukata, The Yeye-Mokun of Owu Kingdom in Egba land, Iyalode of Ojoo landin Abeokuta, Erelu Atayese of Igbein in Abeokuta, Yeye Atoyegbe of Ikeja land and The Asoludero of Jajo land in Ikorodu to mention but a few. Before the sudden separation from her husband, Iyalode Bankole was one of his most influential wives who showed so much love to her man and radiated so much passion within the large Alani Bankole family of Iporo, Abeokuta.
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| The late Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole, Iyalode of Gbagura Land with Celebrity blogger, Gbenga Dan Asabe during the memoir-encounter |
However, during the celebration of her 54th birthday in 2013 men of the fourth estate of the realm cornered her on the issue of her sudden exit from her matrimonial home into her own private residence, demanding a reaction to the situation. Yet the Iyalode remained adamant. She was not going to say a word. Not until Africa’s Number 1 Celebrity encounter blog Asabeafrika made some frantic and persistent efforts which later yielded fruits as the late Iyalode Adunni Bankole found the courage to open her heart in Lagos.
Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole of blessed memory burst emotions to this blog and revealed the greatest secrets that have dotted her 30 years romance with Chief Alanni Bankole. It is a red hot exclusive direct from the horse’s mouth. It is the revelation of the pains, intrigues and makes beliefs that characterized a dynastic romance stuffed with 30 years of irony.
Enjoy the part 1 of the Iyalode of Gbagura memoir-like exposure to your Africa’s number 1 Celebrity encounter blog Asabeafrika; enjoy the excerpts.
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| Late Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole 'Life has taught me many lessons and one of such is that Polygamy is evil') |
Few weeks before Adunni Bankole spoke to asabeafrika, she organized what she tagged “A Thanksgiving Dinner” we asked why the late Iyalode tagged her 54thbirthday celebration which held at an Ikeja, Lagos South West Nigeria based Chinese Restaurant a “Thanksgiving Dinner” and she had this to say to us “It was indeed tagged a thanksgiving dinner deliberately and planned to be so because I was giving thanks to God. Since my last birthday, a lot of things have occurred and anyway, anyhow I look at it, I have reasons to give thanks to God continuously. For sparing my life, for being so evidently present in my life. You know for every human being, it is right for you to celebrate your birthday but in my own case, it is a birthday celebration plus-plus because God always gives a reason for me to celebrate every year and this year is exceptional because a lot has happened; things have happened. I am sure you know what I mean. There were so many odds, many challenges and tribulations. But God has renewed His covenant with me, He promised to stand by me, stay by me, look after me and He has done so consistently. It is my first birthday celebration after I started living by myself. And overwhelmingly, I am so convinced that God is so present with me”.
“There were so many odds, many challenges and tribulations. But God has renewed His covenant with me, He promised to stand by me, stay by me, look after me and He has done so consistently. It is my first birthday celebration after I started living by myself. And overwhelmingly, I am so convinced that God is so present with me”
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| Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole cutting her last birthday cake |
So, what does Iyalode mean by saying “It is my first birthday celebration after I started living by myself” and how would she define the concept of God in her life? Her answer; “Whatever I am, whatever I have been, whatever I will still be, whoever people think I am, beneath everything, overwhelmingly, God takes the order of the day in everything I do” the late socialite responded with a glowing face “I love God, I appreciate God, I am spiritual. I didn’t just start being spiritual, I have always been for all I can remember in my entire life, some call me prophetess, some call me (lady) evangelist, I put God first in everything that I do; I love Him, He loves me and proves Himself to me. He has been my rock; He has been so evidently present in my life. So, whatever I am, I am God’s woman first. I am a daughter of Zion, I am God’s vessel
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| Chief Mrs. Aduni Bankole at her last City People Awards outing in Lagos |
During her “Thanksgiving Dinner” the very pretty lady who is now late said a lot of people have dealt with her the way they thought of themselves and not the way she should have been taken” we asked what she meant by that statement and she gave her answer “Yes, yes, yes, that statement was deliberate. You know when your birthday is approaching, you start doing recollections. You start meditating; you start thinking over your life and for me that was the conclusion I just reached, that my own life is different from a lot of other people’s lives. Like former American President Ronald Regan once said, “People are worms but I am a golden worm”. It is ironical because I can call myself a multifaceted person. You can chose to see me from many angles and people actually see me from different perspectives. But I know one fact that people have dealt with me according to who they are. I don’t know if you get my analogy? They have dealt with me according to who they are, according to what they can do, according to how bad they can be. According to how their minds work; so they super-impose it on me; you see, if you are dealing with a liar, no matter how much you vehemently tell him the truth, somewhere in the corner of his mind he thinks you are a liar because he is actually a liar, psychologically. People who are not genuine who make up a lot; who try to make out to be who they are not; when you deal with them, they still deal with you acting. And when you are genuine, you are down to earth; they still don’t see that side of you. They will deal with you the way they are. And ironically, that is what has gone on in my life. I was dealt with the way people were in so many ways. I don’t know other questions you are going to ask me so that I can have the time to expound on these”.
“People have disappointed me thoroughly; people are just who they are. People are selfish, they only think about themselves and they don’t care what happens to your own feelings. People put themselves first before you, me, I have not lived my life like that. I am always putting people first; I am still doing that. My life is about people! People!! People!!! I guess if truly there is what they call re-incarnation, maybe when I come again, I can change”
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| The late Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole with friends and well wishers during her last birthday celebration |
Asabeafrika asked the late Iyalode to tell us what has changed in her life at 54 and her response came with a lot of sober reflections “Well, my outlook to life has changed, the way I see things, the way I perceive things, the way I react to issues has changed further. Over the years, I have seen life from a deeper view and have also come to understand that life is transient, it is temporary. Life is like one big stage where everybody acts. You act your bit and the next person takes a cue from you and the race goes on. I have also come to discover that I took things for granted and I trusted people too much. And a lot of the times, I am being disappointed. People have disappointed me thoroughly; people are just who they are. People are selfish, they only think about themselves and they don’t care what happens to your own feelings. People put themselves first before you, me, I have not lived my life like that. I am always putting people first; I am still doing that. My life is about people! People!! People!!! I guess if truly there is what they call re-incarnation, maybe when I come again, I can change. But in this present life, no, it is too late for me. Me, I love people, I am down to earth. I say things as they are, I don’t patronize people. I don’t tell people things they want to hear maybe because I want something from them, I just say things the way they are; the way they come to me, the way I see them but it doesn’t go down with a lot of people”
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| The Late Iyalode of Gbagura to Asabeafrika..........'Many refused to see in between the lines, the kind of life I was living' |
“I am not in any way. I am not diplomatic. Things you don’t want another person to hear, please don’t tell me and you don’t gossip someone to me because I will just ask the person. That is how I live my life and I feel comfortable like that”.
“If you are dealing with a liar, no matter how much you vehemently tell him the truth, somewhere in the corner of his mind he thinks you are a liar because he is actually a liar, psychologically. People who are not genuine who make up a lot; who try to make out to be who they are not; when you deal with them, they still deal with you acting”.
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| The Late Asoludero of Jajo land, Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole |
This blog told the late woman of valor to recall one particular experience where she had it rough with government agents in her entire 54 years on earth and she recalled one with the goons of the late Nigerian Military despot, General Sani Abacha “In actual fact, that is an experience I will not like to think about but the good thing is that I was vindicated and I am still here, living today as a free person. That was also part of being a good person; the Bible says many are the affliction of the righteous but He God will heal them of their afflictions and make peace for them. That is part of the experience you get when you are a good person. But we thank God”. Although the late Adunni Bankole had promised to give a full account of her Abacha gulag experience in a later date memoir which unfortunately has been stopped by her sudden death on Saturday January 3rd.
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| Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole making a phone call during her last last birthday celebration |
Adunni…the rallying point in the Bankole’s dynasty
During her 54th birthday some senior wives of the Bankole dynasty had not only graced the occasion but equally paid her a moving tribute, an act that is very uncommon in a polygamist setting. Why is Adunni Bankole so important and special in the eyes of those who supposed to see her as a rival? “Well, I don’t know what people call it but I know what I call it. First of all I don’t see those women as my mates or as my rivals” Adunni confessed. She spoke ahead “I chose never to see them as rivals or as my husband’s “other wives”. Since I married my husband in 1982, I chose to see all his wives as my elder sisters. And I deal with them as such and I treated them as such. You know in Physics they say reaction and action is equal and opposite. So you only get back what you dish out. I was very, very young when I married my husband and the one that is least old than me (Among his wives) is ten years older than me. So, what would I do in such a situation?” she asked with a creased face.
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| Late Chief Mrs. Adunni Bankole with Femi Adejuwon (Scoba) Aralola Olamuyiwa (Ara), Tessy Yembra and a guest when she was inducted as Life Matron of PMAN |
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| Late Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole being aided by Police officers during her 55th birthday ceremony |
But why should Adunni humble herself to the status of her husband’s other wives despite the fact that she is more educated and more enlightened than they are? “Then that person will suffer seriously” she reacted before giving a candid definition of her person “In the first place you know there is no arrogance about me. I don’t know how to be arrogant, I am not proud. I just do things the way they come to me. And these women are very, very good women. Fantastic set of women; they are individually, a dream woman any man will ask for. The kind of woman every man should pray to have as wife, they are very good, very hard working, very accommodating, very caring, very resourceful women. So, how do you deal with such people? If people are good, you treat them as such. So, that is what you saw radiate at my birthday celebrations. There is nothing spectacular; it is just the way we act to ourselves in that household. They are good people, I am a good person. I respect them and they reciprocate. That is all”.
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| Chief (Mrs.) Adunni Bankole dancing with admirers during her 55th birthday celebration on March 29th 2014 |
Being the youngest wife among the first four wives of Chief Alani Bankole (Until he married a younger one) what will Adunni point to as her formula for peace and tranquility in the Bankole dynasty? “I found myself where destiny placed me and as far as I was concerned, I tried to live the best of the situation. My husband was eighteen years older than me (when we met) and there was a very big difference then. I met with all his wives; I got into the house and they accepted me; you know I have a very high sense of humor. You know I joke a lot, that side of me people don’t know but I am sure some of you know. I joke a lot o, and my sense of humor, that jocular side of me also helped me. But majorly the fact that I was brought up in an orthodox way not to compromise respect for someone who is older than me. I greet all of them on my two kneels, not only bending; on my two kneels. And I concede seniority to them. I am of a very different breed. I don’t believe in competition, I don’t believe in rivalry. I do things the way they appear to me. Initially when we started, they had problems with me ‘who is this lady again? Which style is this?’ They had their own diplomatic orthodox style of living, that’s why they were uncomfortable with me but soon they came to accept me for who I am. They know that I would just say things; if they offend me, I would say “mama lagbaja, why did you do this to me now?” “Ah ah! Why now?” Even when people tell me ‘ah, they discussed you’ I will say “Ngbo, you discussed me? Mama Lagbaja what did I do to you that you discussed me?” That person told me you said this about me, you said this to her about me o”. So, they adjusted to me. And also, they were never an issue; deliberately and decidedly. If anything came to me that was unpleasant from that marriage or from these wives, it is the man that brought it to me. And so it is the man I go after and say “You, you this man, you are the one causing all these trouble”.
(Watch out for Part 2 of the Iyalode Adunni Bankole’s Memoirs tagged “Why I left Chief Alani Bankole’s house” on this blog tomorrow morning)
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| Chief Mrs. Adunni Bankole doing what she knows how to do best, prsenting an award to winners at City People Awards Via - Asabeafrika |
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