That feeling of addiction and madness has been found to last about
two years, approximately how long it would have taken our great,
ancestors to produce and wean a child. You evolved to remain bonded to
your partner long enough to care about this joint project of raising a
baby. So, if you’re considering marrying someone you’ve been with for
less than two years, think again. At day 730, you might wake up and feel
nothing about that man next to you.
relationships, and relationships that last much longer than two years.
wants you to be with the handsome yet rebellious guy because his
physique is an indication of good genes and his raging testosterone is
an indication of a good protector. Your genes don’t care that he doesn’t
cuddle you enough, that he cheats or that he talks down to you. So
listen to your genes. They don’t have your best interests at heart.
The reason men like Barbie and women like Ken is because at one time,
brawn and good health were all that were necessary to produce a
,
and raise it. The strongest man had the biggest cave, end of story.
Today, as you know, the most lucrative jobs are those of the
mind—computer programmers, CPA’s, lawyers. And, who was ignored on the
playground as a child that he/she was forced to hit the books and
cultivate an intelligent mind and charming personality, just so someone
would like them? The not-Barbie-looking types. So, if you’re sitting
there saying, “But I like short, dark guys with a beer belly!” well,
good for you: your evolutionary instincts might be evolving to suit this
modern world.
You attach after orgasm
Perhaps as a way of making you attach to the person you might
reproduce with, therein guaranteeing better protection for that
offspring, evolution played a nasty trick on women everywhere: when you
orgasm, chemicals are released in
your body
that make you feel more trusting of and more emotionally bonded to the
person that gave you that orgasm. That’s why it feels so awful when a
one-night-stand never calls again. And that’s why, whether you like it
or not, as a woman you
should be selective of who you take to bed.
Men do get jealous!
Don’t let men tell you that only women get jealous. Jealousy is a
trait that evolved in both men and women and for good reason. When men
and women used to mate solely for the purpose of reproduction, a man had
to keep a close eye on a female to ensure that nobody else got near
her. If another male did, it made the original male unsure of the real
father of that baby growing inside the female. And that made the male
uncertain whether or not
he should be the one expending
his
resources on raising that baby. The men that kept a closer eye on their
women were the ones most certain to know they were the fathers, and
therein guarantee a healthy upbringing of their child. And so, jealousy
evolved.
Women get jealous for a good reason
There are only so many resources to go around! Women also had to keep a close eye on their men, but for an even
longer time
(i.e. forever). If the father of one woman’s child impregnated another
woman, then the two women had to split the resources and time of that
father, therein giving each of their children less of a chance of
surviving. So, the woman that kept a close eye on her man had the most
resources for her child. Of course, a man can impregnate a woman anytime
he wants, meaning women have to keep an eye out
forever!
Even if you were blind, you’d still like handsome men
One study had thousands of women sniff the t-shirts of two respective men—one with a symmetrical face, and one not. The women
never saw
these men. But over 80% of the women preferred the scent of the t-shirt
belonging to the man with symmetrical facial features. His particular
genes affected the scent he produced, and the female body even
understood
that. But, again, evolution is starting to catch up
to modern times. Sure, women liked the scent of the man they couldn’t
even see, but if you’ve learned to like the intelligent and charismatic
man, even if he were the one with the less-preferred t-shirt, he could
be the one to give you the Big O. You’d just have to hang out with him
first.
We gossip to keep ourselves safe
Don’t feel too guilty over gossiping with your friends about that one
slory girl in your group, or about the player that’s slept with
everyone. We
have to care what other people are up to. Out of
our great ancestors, those with the greatest memory, both of what other
people did and what other people looked like, had a greater chance of
survival. Those with the cognitive ability to keep track of who “played
by the rules” (didn’t steal, reciprocated favors, were faithful) were
more likely to engage in beneficial relationships—relationships with men
that would in fact protect their children, or with friends that would
in fact return the papayas they gave them.
Lasting love can exist
Don’t find these facts depressing: find them empowering. Know that
the guy you suddenly didn’t love after two years was a guy you
weren’t supposed to be with. Know that you didn’t
really love
that guy you slept with one time—your body just told you that you did
because you orgasmed. If you can be aware of how evolution affects the
way you act and feel you can control it. Which is why lasting love can
exist: if you learn to hush your hormones, and be mentally present,
noticing that a man is kind, giving, intelligent, gentle, charismatic
(all those traits that evolution doesn’t care about) then you can select
a partner that will give you happiness, long after the two year,
chemical-heavy infatuation phase ends. But, you have to work daily to be
conscious and ask yourself, “Is this
me talking? Or is it evolution?”
In fact, those that love, survive
Long lasting love is healthy! Studies have found that those in
healthy relationships have stronger immune systems, longer life spans,
and lower stress, meaning lower risk of heart issues and a whole other
slew of health concerns. So don’t give up on finding last love, thinking
that evolution doesn’t want that of you. Evolution favors anything that
is healthy for
your body, and that’s what love is.
No comments:
Post a Comment