A 33-year-old security guard in Rio Claro, Trinidad And Tobago was
found by police slumped behind his steering wheel on Sunday morning,
according to the Trinidad and Tobago Guardian.
Police saw that the guard was bleeding from his groin and they
discovered he had a .38 caliber firearm in his right front pocket. Cops
determined the man had accidentally shot his penis off.
He was taken to a local hospital where he remains. Gawker reports
that it’s unclear whether medical staff was able to reattach or
reassemble the guard’s manhood.
As Gawker writes, to add insult to “the worst injury imaginable,” the
guard will likely face charges of illegal possession of a firearm
because he allegedly didn’t have a valid handgun license.
Wonkette suggests a way to avoid tragedies like this in the future:
“… the only way to stop a bad penis with a gun is with a good penis with
a gun, so maybe if we posted armed penises in all … public places, then
everybody would be safe.”
It’s too bad this bold plan wasn’t unsheathed before the guard’s groin was destroyed.
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