Saturday 30 April 2016

Tiwa Savage's Marriage Drama: Why Tiwa Needn't Have Said So Much - Kemi Ashefon

If Tiwa was to talk to just 20 women in Nigeria, another 10 in some parts of Africa and a few in the western world, especially African American couples, she would realise this—she has not said anything new about marriage.

Forget the fact that I am journalist and I have practised for almost 20 years in the newsroom, I adore Tiwa Savage to pieces! I have read so many views about Tiwa’s video, why she said what she said and the perceived aftermath in a career she and TeeBillz have tried to build over the years.

What do I think?

I think Tiwa should not have said that much about her husband.

Why? There is no perfect husband—many wives are just managing them!

I remember when I was a cub reporter and I had gone with a friend of mine to cover an assignment. It was a celebrity’s birthday party. So much was going on and photographers were everywhere. As my friend tried to make her way to the aisle to get a good view of VIPs, she felt a pinch on her bum! Alarmed, she looked back and saw this face smiling and winking at her. She was shocked. The man smiling at her was not only an A-class celeb, he was (and is still) married to one of the most fashionable women in the society.  His firstborn then was almost in his early 40s. All his kids were married and celebrated on the pages of newspapers.

As she tried to talk, the man’s wife beckoned to her, smiled, and apologised for her husband’s act. Obviously, she does this on a daily basis to many young girls.

Another occurred when I went to interview another celeb. The wife is dead now and he has remarried. The interview took place in his house in Abuja and his wife welcomed me. She left us to talk and the man tried getting fresh with me. I stood up and as I made for the door, the wife appeared, pushed a huge amount of money into my hands and begged me to overlook what the husband did. I refused the money, left and decided not to say a word to anyone just because of his wife who later died of a terminal disease.

Why this story-telling of mine? Tiwa should know that TeeBillz is in a handful of men whose wives have decided to keep quiet for these reasons: their careers, their children and their families.

If she wants to divorce her husband, let her go ahead but not with all the drama and talk.

 Tiwa is a brand, not TeeBillz. She has so much on her plate that she needn’t have said all she said about her husband and marriage. This is Africa, where men still hold the ace in marital issues.

 I was at an event where Tiwa was billed to perform and I didn’t know what happened backstage (I was trying to get Tiwa for an interview backstage) 
Then, TJ was her manager and I remember she shouted at him while many people were present. The guy walked away.

Maybe the marriage shouldn’t have held what with all she discovered before they formalised their wedding in Dubai—she can never say she just discovered all these traits after marriage. When you marry a monster, you must have seen a trait or two indicating this before you took the risk to say, “I do.” As a manager too, TJ must have discovered so many ‘facts’ but still went ahead to marry her.

They are both at fault.

The miscarriage, TJ’s reaction, his infidelity, drug abuse, debts, financial misappropriation etc were not new to her. She saw all these in bits (or in full) before agreeing to be his wife. That he didn’t give her a farthing for their baby’s upkeep is not new—millions of women are breadwinners and even pay for their ante-natal, baby deliveries and buy diapers alone.

I just pray TJ doesn’t come out with more damning facts on his marriage and his wife, Tiwa.

Please the Balogun and Savage families should intervene and stop further social media ‘washing’ of this marriage.

God help save marriages.

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