One of my friends asked me if I was going to get a boyfriend soon, she said that it’s only deserving that I’m happy. I’m like waaaaaaaaat! Why do I need a boyfriend to make me happy? Like seriously I do not need a man. She told me this when I was nineteen years lol. Okay, I assured her, I am happy. Stop thinking I’m not. As a matter of fact, stop being an idiot. Only an idiot thinks they should be dependent on some stupid junkie who is going to break their heart. I will get one when I find a deserving person.
I don’t intend to date if it’s not going to lead to the ultimate – which is marriage or what’s the point in getting to know better a person of an opposite sex. Oh, to cuddle endlessly, never mind, I can get a puppy for that sole purpose. Let me get down to business now * * So at 22 years of age, I finally opened my web diary and I want to tell the world a story ‘my most annoying boyfriend‘. I’m titling this episodes ‘I fired My Boyfriends’.
I met this young guy, don’t ask if he’s an attractive fellow for he is. He behaved properly during our dates. I mean, like a gentle man. He opened the doors, he pulled out the chairs, he kissed me on the forehead but there’s a problem. I told him real men set out for what they want and get it and that only boys only settle for what they’re given. He thought I was wrong. So, I fired him. Who wants a dummy?
My boyfriend no. 2 is another weird guy. Men actually do tell you what they want, they are more straightforward than women. If you are the type that can put two and four together, you will be fine. But I started getting the feeling that it’s the opposite of what he says that he really means. Heck – No ! I’m not a mind reader.
Boyfriend: ‘hey,how are you love?
Me: I’m good, how are you too?
Bf: Okay, ‘I don’t feel like going to the movies’.
Me: Okay, but I didn’t mention anything about movies. Do you want to go watch some movies?
Bf: Yes, that sounds good!
He’s a really weird guy, he says the opposites of what he wants. I fired him. He stretched my sensibilities too far.
My boyfriend no.3: Oh yes, I like you but I can’t be begging you for a date. I’m not date-deficient. “Hey, let’s meet at so-and-so’s friend’s house/ my house” is not a date. It doesn’t have to be an expensive date but atleast protocols should be duly observed. I’m not some booty you just call up and say ‘come to my house’. Who takes that rubbish? I fired him straight off. We can meet in the church – I’ll be glad to do that.
My boyfriend no.4: He’s so okay and comfortable with disappointing me. If he creates promises for you, and then doesn’t follow through on even the smallest things, he will do the same for big things. He promised to get me a replacement for this earings of mine that I really did like which got lost on our way back from an outing – he didn’t. He promised he would pay for my phone bills when I’ve not asked him to – he didn’t.
He promised me he would get me this gucci trainers that I liked – he didn’t. I didn’t call it quit because he didn’t get me those things. I did because he failed to follow up too many of his words and he was getting comfortable with disappointing me . Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. For that- He got fired.
My boyfriend no5: He told me to my face that he’s so busy he doesn’t have time for more of what we should be as par sustaining our relationship but he cherishes me so much. Waaaaat! What an insult on my integrity. ”Busy” is another word for “asshole”, and to him, I’m not important enough to be prioritzed. “Asshole” is another word for the person you are dating if he hides under busy-cloaks far too much. Yes, another word for him is ‘asshole’ – He got fired straightaway.
My boyfriend no6: I heard him say he just wants a fling. Me, for a fling !. He became totally unserious and I took him like a joke before he gets the chance to dump me like it’s funny. He said ”I don’t want to be in a serious relationship” and you know what that means “I don’t want to be in a serious relationship with you” or “I’m not sure you’re the one.” So I said, okay – I understand you don’t think I’m the one and better than nothing is not good enough for me. This one summarily ended the relationship but I gave it the final full stop. Can you imagine that? – I fired him straightaway.
…..to be continued
Copyright ©Ayo Ajayi's Diary Of A Young Woman
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