Pages

Thursday 6 March 2014

Does The Couple That Drinks Together Stay Together?


Josh and Afshin are copywriters at the same advertising agency, where they like to discuss women, sex and relationships over iChat…or as they call it: Guy Chat.
YOUNG SINGLE GUY: I just read that couples who drink the same amount are happier and have a healthier relationship. What do you think, bullshit or true?
OLD MARRIED GUY: Oh, totally true. The success of my marriage is based almost exclusively on drinking together.
YOUNG SINGLE GUY: It makes a lot of sense. I dated a woman last year who barely drank. She took pride in being a cheap date, but it made dinners kind of boring. And I felt a little guilty when I would order a few drinks and she was still on her first and only glass of white wine.

OLD MARRIED GUY: We recently had brunch with some married friends of ours, and the guy said he wasn’t drinking anymore. My first thought was: “What will they do together now?” I couldn’t relate on any level.
YOUNG SINGLE GUY: Sounds like some rough roads ahead. I mean obviously I won’t judge a woman who has her reasons for not drinking, but there’s something sexy about a girl throwing back some whiskey.
OLD MARRIED GUY: Sure, if I was a Mormon or something, I bet I’d want a woman who also doesn’t drink. But, come on. What else are we gonna do? We live in a city of bars. Awesome, awesome bars. Oh, and agreed on the whisky. Totally sexy.
YOUNG SINGLE GUY: And I couldn’t imagine dealing with meeting a woman's friends or parents for the first time without a few drinks to loosen up the situation. A glass of sparkling water won’t make me the life of the party.
OLD MARRIED GUY: One great thing about drinking together is that it grows with therelationship. When you’re young and wild and going out, drinking’s what you do together. Then when you’re old and boring and can’t go out because you have a kid, drinking’s still what you do together. It’s the perfect shared interest.
YOUNG SINGLE GUY: Oh my god I never even thought about it like that. I’m not sure how you would even get through the early stages of parenting without bottles of wine.
OLD MARRIED GUY: Man, I’ve never drunk so much wine in my life. It’s a constant flow of vino over at my place these days. It’s like you drink a lot and wind up with a baby. Then you have to drink a lot because you have a baby.
YOUNG SINGLE GUY: The eternal Catch-22. I think what makes it work is that both of you like to drink. But it could also work if both of you didn’t drink. That’s what the article mentioned, it’s just about having the same drinking habits.
OLD MARRIED GUY: Makes sense. I think that’s what a relationship boils down to: shared interests. Ours just happens to be red wine. But it’s gotta be tough to date sober, right?
YOUNG SINGLE GUY: If you both were sober, I feel like it wouldn’t be an issue. But for me, at least at my immaturely level at the moment, I would not be able to date someone who wasn’t a moderate to borderline alcoholic drinker.
OLD MARRIED GUY: Did the article say that? Or was it couples who drink last longer than couples who don’t?
YOUNG SINGLE GUY: The article said couples with similar drinking habits have better, happier relationships. It makes sense, if you don’t drink you aren’t going to want to deal with a significant other that’s getting blasted every other night.
OLD MARRIED GUY: Yeah, that sounds like a drag.
YOUNG SINGLE GUY: So if your wife stopped drinking tomorrow, would you go hand in hand into sobriety with her?
OLD MARRIED GUY: God, I hope that never happens. I’d probably drink more to cope with having a sober spouse. But let me ask you this: would it be worse if the woman you’redating stopped drinking or joined a cult?
YOUNG SINGLE GUY: Probably worse if the woman I was dating joined a cult, especially one that all ended up committing mass suicide. Mostly because she’d be dead.
OLD MARRIED GUY: So on the list of ultimate turn offs, we’ve got: 1. Cult. 2. Sobriety. Am I missing anything?
YOUNG SINGLE GUY: Probably celibacy. That could be a deal breaker.
OLD MARRIED GUY: What does it say about my current sex life that celibacy didn’t even cross my mind as a turn off?
YOUNG SINGLE GUY: That you’re more worried about your wife joining a cult than about never having sex again.
OLD MARRIED GUY: Well, if my wife died I’d have no one to drink with.
Josh Aiello is 38 years old. He lives on the Upper West Side of Manhattan with his wife and daughter. Afshin Hatami is 25 years old. He lives on the Upper West Side of Manhattan with his roommate and his best friend’s Netflix account.
Credit: Cosmopolitan

No comments:

Post a Comment