“I Was Beaten to the Altar on My Wedding Day,” Domestic Violence Survivor Writes

 “The domestic violent story that led to the death of Rronke Shonde broke my heart and took me back memory lane. Yes that is my ex-husband and I, I was just 19 on that photo, you can see the innocence in my eyes. We were perfect, very perfect, outside but we fought inside.

You see that smile on that picture was plastic. I was beaten to the alter on my wedding day. What happened? Because I was tired and refused to pack plate. I swallowed it and matched to the alter. With tears in my eyes, the pastor asked will you take him as your husband for better for worse, till death do you part?

Tears rolled down my eyes but the crowd clapped, screaming tears of joy. I embarked on the journey of marriage. At the age of 19, I endured like a lion. This fine young man here is an animal. He beat me up and even beat up my younger ones.

The day he beat me to coma, he was beating my lifeless body before he was stopped and I was rushed to the hospital. Do you know what her mom told me as I gained consciousness? She said (Nkiru, lucky will beat you again o, get ready cause the father beat me too )

I went back in to coma. He begged and I went back home. This continued until I decided to face reality. But the truth is, do you know why we women endure domestic violence? 1) financial security: I was scared to leave because I did not know how to begin financially

2) society: After bragging to my friends, and society see you as a lucky perfect girl you will want to keep it that way. 3) loneliness: You’re scared if u’ll find someone better. I was saying who will marry me again, with my boobs like this, stretch marks, milk was still coming out of my boobs as of then, my big tommy etc, I was insecure, so I stayed.

Until one day, I woke and took a strong decision to walk away. And when I left empty handed and embarked of this journey. I kept repeating my name, Nkiruka , Nkiruka (my future is bigger ) until I reached my destination. Now I can hit my chest and tell myself I took the right step, even tho I never knew where I was going.”