Trying to find opportunities for alone time as new parents is a classic struggle. My husband and I are lucky enough to have had a weekly ‘date night’ since our daughter was born. What’s our secret? He’s dating the babysitter.
Well, technically, his girlfriend volunteered to babysit for us. Isn’t that sweet of her?
An open marriage certainly has its challenges, but finding personal time outside of being a parent is actually one of the great rewards. My husband and I have been polyamorous since we met, and I actually introduced him to the woman he is currently dating.
When our baby was born, she offered to babysit so we could continue having our traditional date nights. On Sundays, the two of them have time together while I stay home with the baby. And sometimes his girlfriend comes over to spend time with him and our daughter, when I’m out with someone else.
Being poly requires a pretty organised calendar and a TON of communication, and we are finding that being parents requires the same. We try to plan ahead and make sure each of us is getting time alone and time to spend on other relationships, while trying to keep our marriage alive and healthy as well. Plus, parenthood itself can be quite the timesuck.
Is it all roses all the time? Of course not. After reading the Bitty Baby book for the 10th time and picking up blocks for the eleventy-billionth time this Sunday, I was more than ready for my husband to get home and help out, or at least talk over against that incessant whining noise coming from the toddler’s direction.
But that’s much more a function of being a parent than being poly, and I would have been grumbling about any activity he was out doing, while casting myself as Mother Martyr.
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